"N" is for "no," as in "No Child Left Behind." Apparently the name of the Dubya administration education legislation has proven to be a rich source of humor. Many people want to change the name of the law to something more serious, to give it more credibility--or to something more humorous, to reflect its ineptitude. Suggestions are welcomed and are being accepted on a blog at www.eduwonk.com, according to an article published in Sunday's Omaha World-Herald. Send one in!
"O" is for "Oscars," as in the Academy Awards ceremonies Sunday night. Some random observations: (1) Either too many women went to the same designer, or the variety of ideas among designers this year was especially paltry. At least three women were dressed in variations of a one-shoulder blue dress with a black sash/scarf/belt thing. Appalling! (2) I don't know why Will Smith didn't come up in discussions for best-dressed male in the post-Oscar fashion reviews. His tux was exceedingly well-tailored. He looked plenty sharp to me. (3) I greatly enjoyed Hugh Jackman's big production number, with top hat and tails . . . I'm just glad he didn't include a snippet of "Puttin' On The Ritz." If he had, I would have snorted my hot cocoa out my nose. [Remember Young Frankenstein? 'Nuff said.--Ed.]
"P" is for "penny," as in the new series of Lincoln cents, to be released throughout this year to honor the bicentennial anniversary of Lincoln's birth. I hope the US Mint doesn't get rid of the penny. As a purely practical matter, I know they are more of a pain to deal with than they are worth, but I like them, and I think I'm not alone in that. Besides, when I lived in Germany, none of the US facilities used pennies--they were too expensive to ship overseas and back--everything was rounded to the nearest nickel. It probably came out about even in the end, but most of the Americans I knew over there could not escape a vague suspicion that we all were being ripped off.
"Q" is for "quarters," as in this year's release of 6 quarters to recognize US Territories and other unique geo-political entities, such as Washington, D.C. It's a supplement to the 10-year program (that ended in 2008) of quarters honoring each of the 50 states. I just wish there were a way to display the new ones with the first 50. I have yet to see a display rack, frame, or folder for the 50-state series that provided spaces for the extra six 2009 mintings. Bummer!
"R" is for "reality," as in "soap operas need a real reality check sometimes." The way soaps present legal proceedings is beyond ludicrous. Hearsay and irrelevant testimony are routinely allowed, rules of evidence are ignored, rulings are arbitrary and capricious, and legitimate legal points are stricken--I suppose all for the sake of dramatic impact. But I worry about the wrong impressions of the legal system that they present to the general public. When will soap writers learn from shows like Law and Order that you can be just as dramatic while being mostly accurate?
And the soaps' presentation of medical procedures and their aftermaths is just as bad. On one soap [which shall remain nameless because I do like to watch it nonetheless--Ed.], a character who's been in a coma for three months and who needed--and got--a heart transplant during her coma has now awoken, was released from the hospital less than a week after the surgery, is not wearing a face mask or taking any other normal steps to avoid post-transplant infections, and is walking around normally even though her character's entire chest had to be cut open to do the transplant. I know we must suspend our disbelief, and I do like watching certain soaps [they are, after all, the modern incarnation of a Dickens serial novel--Ed.], but how hard can it be to pay a modicum of attention to reality when dramatizing real medical procedures? Especially when the same soaps are overtly supporting Women's Heart Health Month--even if most of the support consists of including Campbell's products by name in the dialog?
"S" is for "satellites" and "submarines," as in "Oops! We collided nuclear ones!" Talk about taking atom-smashing to a whole new level!
"T" is for "tax credits," as in will they really work as economic stimulus? Doubtful. What about all the people who do not qualify for them but who nevertheless are teetering on the brink of financial ruin? What if you qualify for enough of them so that you should get a refund, but since the rules tend to say you cannot reduce your taxes owed below "0.00," you get nothing back? And will the reduction in payroll withholding that's going to give the average person $8.00 a week more per pay period make a real difference in how people spend?
"U" is for "Upton," as in Upton Sinclair. His muckraking masterwork, The Jungle, is as relevant to food safety issues today as it was about a century ago when he gruesomely detailed abuses in the meat-packing industry. The Jungle helped spur creation of the FDA. Maybe the salmonella deaths engendered by the deliberate behavior of executives at the Peanut Corporation of America will encourage strengthening or even reorganizing and streamlining, thus improving, enforcement of food safety laws and regulations we already have. One can only hope.
"V" is for "violets," as in the delicate purple flowers of spring. I love their scent. Spring IS coming, despite local forecasts for snow later this week. Bring on the warmer weather! [I just wish we could skip summer altogether. It's too hot and humid for me.--Ed.]
"W" is for "what," as in "What's wrong with this picture?" A recent local TV news item reported that a man accused of two crimes got bail set at a total of $100,000 . . . thus even with a bail bondsman's services, the accused would have to pony up $10,000 to get out of jail. But the breakdown of the bail by crime is what distresses me. For the charge of sexually assaulting a 14-year-old girl, bail was set at $25,000. For stealing a painting, bail was set at $75,000. Tain't right, Magee. To suggest that a girl is worth only 1/3 of what a piece of property is worth is beyond offensive. Why aren't the pro-life activists protesting THAT?
"X" is for "X-rated," as in my reaction to the reasons given on NPR yesterday by South Carolina's Republican governor for his reluctance to take any of the federal economic stimulus money allocated to his state. For one thing, he out-and-out lied about facts. He claimed that we've already spent too much on stimulus that didn't work, conveniently forgetting that the first $700 billion--for the banks--was pressed and passed by the Dubya administration with no strings attached. Considering that the banks are what got us into this mess, the lack of strings is the problem, not the stimulus. Second, he claimed that the billions requested by GM didn't work because GM came back "a week" later asking for more . . . forgetting that (1) GM received only part of the total initial allocation and was required to come back to show its plans to justify receiving more, and (2) that the total allocation itself was far lower than what economists of all political stripes estimated GM would need to survive.
For another thing, by refusing the stimulus funds, he's hurting the people of his own state. Playing politics should NEVER come before doing the public good. At least Florida Gov. Crist (also a Republican) understands that. He campaigned for John McCain last year, but recognizing the economic meltdown's disastrous consequences for his constituents, he's welcoming the stimulus money and correctly proclaiming that some things are bigger than politics. For which he's being excoriated by yet another member of the Bush family, who called Crist a "D-light," as in "Democrat, lite." Boy, irrelevant insults just totally out-argue the facts, don't they--NOT!
"Y" is for "yammering," as what the talking heads of all political stripes are doing to excess. The current and omnipresent 24/7 news cycle requires all these people to talk about something, but hashing and rehashing and rerehashing a few facts and filling the rest of the time with endless speculation is not productive. I for one am tired of hearing 2 minutes of news and 28 minutes of speculating about what the news during the next broadcast will be. SHADDUP, already, all of you! By limiting yourselves to reporting news when there is news, you could actually report additional facts about stories on other topics--topics that now are being largely ignored--and give your audience both broader and more in-depth coverage instead of the continual yelping and endless speculating about a few narrow topics that you do now.
"Z" is for "Zambrano, Carlos," as in the Chicago Cubs' number one pitcher. Spring training has started, and Opening Day is now only a few short weeks away! Hooray, baseball! Hooray, spring! Hooray for the eternal promise of "next year is here!"
No comments:
Post a Comment