Saturday, August 14, 2010

Which Would YOU Choose?

I heard a most interesting segment on "This American Life" this morning (locally aired on KIOS, 91.5 FM). The theme of the show was superheroes and superpowers, and the specific segment to which I refer was one in which a gentleman [whose name escapes me--I obviously lack super memory--Ed.] spent some time asking everyone whether they'd rather have the power of flying or of being invisible. His calculations and conclusions were fascinating. He says more women than men prefer the idea of being invisible; more men than women prefer the idea of flying. He goes on to say, with support from several of the people he queried on the subject, that this is because people with something to hide prefer invisibility, and people who "let it all hang out" in terms of who they are prefer the power of flight.

Why I found this so fascinating was that, as usual, I don't fit in. When he first asked the question, I answered "flying." I was 100% certain; the rest of the segment did not change my mind; I said it promptly and out loud, which got quite a reaction from my cats Linus and Lucy, who were, after all, trying to have their morning nap (in the sunny spot in the dining room) in peace.

The auteur says there are 5 stages of decision, and while I don't have the exact titles he used, this is the rough equivalent of what they are: (1) initial choice; (2) justifications; (3) reconsideration; (4) bargaining; (5) final choice, which over 90% of the time wound up being the opposite of the initial choice. He also went on to say that almost everyone who chose invisibility admitted sooner or later that they'd use that power either to spy on family, co-workers, and friends, or to shoplift or watch naked people who thought they were in the privacy of their own showers and tubs.

Ask me how glad I am that I chose flying, immediately and without going through all the stages he set forth. It's nice to get confirmation every now and again that one's own view of oneself is correct, that one is neither lying to oneself or fooling oneself, and that the way one thinks one presents herself to the world is, in fact, the way one presents herself to the world.

Especially on the 28th anniversary of the day I made the most stupid mistake of all the stupid mistakes I've made in my life . . . yes, today, down to its being a Saturday, is the anniversary of the day I got married . . . to a man who doubtless would choose invisibility over flying every time. It took me 16 years (5 of knowing him, 11 of being married to him) to realize that he was not the open, frank, and above-board person I thought he was. In retrospect, I have come to realize that he was always hiding something. I don't think he could go even 24 hours without lying about something to someone. I think it gave him a sense of power, as in "I know something you don't know, nyah, nyah, nyah, nyah, nyah." Yep, invisibility would have been right up his alley.

Realizing that makes me even more glad I was not only so quick to choose flying, but that I was so sure of that choice.