Snakes! Why'd It Have To Be Snakes?

"Indiana, he's my man
"He's my hero, I'm his biggest fan . . ."
[try singing it to the tune of the main title theme of the Raiders movies--it works]

I hate to admit it, but I am excited that Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is about to invade movie theaters nationwide. I've been a fan of Harrison Ford's way back since American Graffiti was in initial release, and of George Lucas's for the same film. Of Steven Spielberg's? Since Jaws. Well, the first half of Jaws, anyway.

However, I was skeptical about this fourth installment in the Indiana Jones series until I heard that (1) Ford was going to play Indy at his own real age--'cause as good as Ford still looks, I don't think any 65-year-old can play 30-something realistically, and (2) Karen Allen would reprise her role as Marion Ravenwood from Raiders of the Lost Ark. We should get answers to some questions that have long plagued us--like did their relationship 10 years before Raiders end because Indy left Marian at the alter, or did he just seduce her and then dump her? And is Shia LaBeouf's character Indy's and Marian's son? (According to what I've heard, the answer to this is "yes.")

But now, I can hardly wait to see it. This is additionally miraculous because I no longer much enjoy seeing movies in theaters. Too much talking, too much cell phone silliness, too much loudness from the speakers--going to the movies hasn't been "going to the movies" for a long, long time.

I'm going to make the exception to see this one, though. From the trailer and the buzz, it looks to be just as good, funny, and exciting as any of the first three. In other words, well worth the time and frustrations of seeing it in a theater.

As part of the pre-release hype, the Omaha World-Herald has been asking readers to submit their favorite moments from the first three films. My all-time favorite moment so far comes from Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade: it's the scene wherein Henry Jones, Sr. (Sean Connery) hugs his son tight once he realizes that Indy didn't go over the cliff with the Nazi tank. The feelings washing over Indy's face at that moment--the sense of relief, of reconciliation, of redemption--are wondrous. He finally is getting the one and only thing he ever wanted from his father--unconditional love. And then, of course, it's right back to business as usual, Saving The World. The breeze blowing Indy's fedora back to him when his father drops him and Indy collapses to his knees, exhausted, is Spielberg's version of the opening of Beethoven's Fifth Symphony: it's Fate knocking at the door.

My second most favorite moment all-time also comes from The Last Crusade: it's the entire back-story of how Indy became Indy. River Phoenix was brilliant as young Indiana Jones [his death in real life was too tragic for one so young and talented--did you know he'd also played Ford's character's elder son in The Mosquito Coast? For my money, that's Ford's finest role, though it's incredibly painful to watch.--Ed.] Besides, it's screamingly funny and incredibly inventive. And it all makes perfect sense, given the context of what we already know about our intrepid archaeologist.

My favorite "moment" from Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom is actually the mine car roller coaster ride. It's a perfect encapsulation of what Indiana Jones movies are all about: extremely high production values, excitement, danger, humor, and revealing glimpses of the characters' inner selves, all delivered at breakneck speed. It literally careens almost off the tracks, without ever going too far over the edge into irrelevant campiness.

It's much more difficult to pick a favorite moment from Raiders of the Lost Ark. I watched it again last night, and realized just how much I'd been taking for granted of late. The entire movie is wonderful. It was unique when it was released in 1981; it remains so today. Though if I had to pick only one moment, it would be the one where the scimitar-wielding Arab in black is threatening Indy and with a look of perfect weariness, Indy takes out his pistol and shoots the guy. It gets the biggest and longest laugh of the movie. As I understand it, it was also Harrison Ford's idea. They'd been filming all day, he was suffering from dysentery, and he just wanted to be done. Spielberg and Lucas are to be commended for recognizing the brilliance of the moment and letting it stand, instead of filming the long "whip vs. scimitar" fight sequence in the original script.

No, I'm not objective about any of this. Harrison Ford has been an oddly significant presence in my life in many weird ways. My first date with my now ex-husband was to see Star Wars back when it was first released in 1977. We saw Raiders of the Lost Ark the night we got engaged in 1981. And the night I nearly died from my lung disease and it was finally diagnosed correctly was on Harrison Ford's birthday in 1988.

I wonder, though: at each of those moments, I thought Harrison Ford was my good luck charm. Given the way things have turned out, however, maybe I should hate him instead of being such a fan . . .