Unaccustomed As We Are . . .

Welcome to my looney bin!

I don't know exactly where I will be going with this blog; in the past, on other sites, and under another name, I have posted political commentary, satire, news analysis, and the laments of Chicago Cubs fans everywhere.

I imagine that I will cover everything from accountability issues to zoos. For I believe in being interested and informed about just about everything under the sun.

You may expect from me bad puns, obscure movie references, stories about my cats, and my honest efforts to analyize news topics of interest.

I hope to get a lot of feedback, for what I most hope for is to exchange ideas.

It may be corny, but let's sit down together and learn from one another--and especially share a hearty laugh or two.

My motto, a la Groucho Marx, is that "I wouldn't belong to any club that would have me as a member."

I will begin with a story or two about my cats, because we are approaching the two year anniversary of the revelation I am about to share, and because it's funny. At least, I think so!

A little more than two years ago, I adopted two black and white, half-Siamese kittens from an area animal shelter. I was told they were the last two sisters in a litter of 8. I never bothered to check independently. After all, the animal shelter staff knew what they were doing. In any event, the kittens had green eyes and adorable personalities, so how could I not take them both?

I named them, brought them home, and did my best to make them comfortable in the face of the hubub of the holiday season.

They each liked to take turns sleeping on my left shoulder. (They still do, which is a problem now that they are full grown and the size of small ponies.) One night, one of them was circling around, trying to settle, and thus waving its butt in my face, and I realized something: there are a lot of things I do not know, but I do know that THAT is not a girl!

So, it turns out I have a brother and a sister. I renamed them Linus and Lucy, and nothing has been the same since.

(The humane society people, by the way, were as startled to learn this as I was. I had my vet send independent confirmation when I had them spayed and neutered in accordance with the humane society's policies. One of the staff called me and asked me if I were sure! I'm sure.)

Linus apparently has gender issues; he is bound to prove at any given moment that he is all boy. He likes, for example, to do a tightrope walk on my living room wrought iron balcony railing. And then to chase his tail when he is out over the "deep end," as it were. In short, he needs to prove every day that he has a full component of testosterone, giving me heart failure in the process.

He also likes to climb more than any other cat, Siamese blood or no, I've ever known. I regularly find him on top of my china hutch, skulking amongst the soup tureens. He also enjoys breaking things if I am not paying sufficient attention to him at any given moment. And for the longest time, nothing would deter him--not even a squirt of pure vinegar (water had absolutely no effect on him whatsoever). He has finally learned, however: now, I just have to point the squirt bottle at him when he's doing something I don't want him to do, and off he'll run. It's just that he has short term memory loss, or something, because a few hours later, he'll try again.

But he has the tiniest meow and the most delicate purr, and the pinkest of pink noses . . . so maybe he's not 100% certain about his gender issues either! In any event, I cannot stay mad at him, for he loves to cuddle and purr. Especially now that the weather is getting colder, I can find almost nothing better to do than curl up w/ the cats, a cup of tea, and a good book.

Lucy, on the other hand, has a black Groucho mustache over her nose and upper lip; a meow like a foghorn, and a motor like a '68 Dodge Hemi with no muffler. But she also has the most silky fur of any cat I've ever encountered. She likes to cuddle, too, but she's not as "in your face" about it as Linus literally is.

I'll try to post a picture or two someday. They are truly adorable, especially when they both try to curl up together and snooze in my bathroom sink. They could do that when they were little, but now, let's just say it's more than a bit of a tight squeeze.

Here endeth today's lesson. Let the fun and games begin!