Still More Things That Make You Go "Hmmm . . ."

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I heard a report on NPR this morning about how the human brain changes during its lifespan. The latest research indicates that while middle-aged brains aren't very good at multi-tasking and are also not as fast as they once were in processing information, they are at their life's peak of being able to perform complex reasoning tasks, and are also at maximum capacity for seeing issues from someone else's point of view, a/k/a empathy. Teenaged brains, on the other hand, while being able to cope with levels of information input that would disorient the rest of us, have very little, if any, capacity to empathize and even less to recognize and anticipate the consequences of the actions they prompt.

The common element affecting both ages of brain is the presence and thickness of myelin, the fatty sheath around nerve endings that improves nerves' ability to process information. Middle-aged brains have a lot of myelin. The quantity and thickness of the myelin enhances complex reasoning functions. Teenaged brains have less myelin, especially around the nerves connecting to the brain's frontal lobes, which are the home of these same higher reasoning functions.

I've bemoaned for years our society's seeming race to the bottom in terms of public behavior, expression of opinions, and general attitude towards civic discourse and political and philosophical differences. Almost nobody cares anymore to be polite, to speak with a civil tongue, and to argue based on the issues and the facts. It seems as if whomever shouts the loudest and longest is declared "the winner," correct on the merits or not. Usually not, too, or else there'd be no need to scream and shout. I always used to think of it in terms of my generation's [yes, I'm talking to and about you, fellow Baby Boomers.--Ed] tendency to raise its children to be its friends instead of raising its children to be good citizens, which in turn those children replicated when raising their own, resulting in at least 3 generations now of selfish brats being at the forefront of society.

But now I wonder. Is there a genetic difference that makes certain people more likely to have less myelin in their brains all their lives? And if so, does this explain the schoolyard bullying and high-school-cliquish behavior of people like Rush Limbaugh and the anchors on Fox "News"?

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Texans are to Americans the way Ugly Americans are to the rest of the world. This could also mean, based on the previous observation, that Texans, too, tend to be permanent teenagers. It's as good an explanation as any for what is largely boorish behavior. Please don't get me wrong. I have lived in Texas. I have friends and family members who have lived in Texas--indeed, some of them are still there. There are a lot of things to love about Texas and Texans. But that does not include the Texans making all the noise about how Texas is better at everything than everybody else, ever, period.

And that constant crowing gets real old, real quick. [Maybe at its deepest heart, it's a sign of fundamental insecurity--the most frightened act the bravest?--Ed.] And it's even worse when listening to Texans turn on one another, as they have during the current campaign among GOP candidates for governor. I will not repeat the accusations, lies, and mud that has been slung. I will say only this: when candidates who've openly claimed to support Texas' secession from the Union are accused by their fellow candidates of not being conservative enough, well, let's just say the train has derailed. [Thank God the primary is this-coming Tuesday, so we'll soon have an at least brief respite.--Ed.]

I always shake my head in rueful wonder when I hear talk of secession as though it were a viable option. The Civil War ended 145 years ago, people. Secessionists lost. Get over it. Besides, as a purely practical matter, would those pro-secessionists really be so keen to leave the Union when doing so would cost them incalculably? I'd like to see Texas try to survive without all the money the federal government dumps into its economy through military bases, NASA, local jobs with everything from the National Park Service to the IRS, and contracts for everything from oil and gas leases to research and weapons development.

Still, Texas and Texans can be as grating as fingernails running down a blackboard. And just because they can't secede doesn't mean we can't throw them out, does it?

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I see from this morning's news that all the financial pundits have their collective knickers in a twist about the fact that Americans' spending levels have gone up again, even though incomes have not. One consequence is that what we're saving has declined again, down to approximately 4 percent of income, though that figure is still twice as high as it has been for most of the past few decades. The pundits are wailing about Americans' bad habits and predicting the end of the world as we know it [hey--a little hyperbole is never out of order when being sarcastic.--Ed.].

I don't think it's any particular cause for alarm, and I want to know what world these pundits inhabit, because it certainly isn't the real one in which I and my fellow normal Americans live. It's simple, really. When times are hard, purchases are put off. I don't buy a new car just because my current car is 15 years old. I wait. But there comes a time when, no matter how bad my economic circumstances are, I can wait no longer. My car is no longer repairable, for any amount of money. So I go and buy another car (even if it's not brand new, it's new for me). So I'm putting myself back into a financial hole, but that hole would be twice as deep if I lacked dependable and reasonably safe transportation to and from my job (if I'm one of the ones lucky enough to still have one) or to and from job interviews (if I'm one of the too many who doesn't).

Frankly, it's no different from how people without health insurance are forced to live. Minor injuries and illnesses are ignored or given band-aids, and only when circumstances have gotten so bad that there's no other option will people go to the emergency room. This is not a good way to live. It's more costly to everyone in society in the long run than stopping problems while they are still minor and treatable would be. But when wages are stagnant, costs are rising, and those with the money and power are more concerned with maximizing their own comfort than in making society better for every one of its members, there really aren't other options.

Such are the consequences of letting those with the mentality of teenagers run the world.

Bah! Humbug!

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Random thoughts on the passing scene for this shiny brand-new year:

2010 is NOT the first year of the new decade. It is the LAST year of the old decade. How do I know this? Reason the first: our calendar has no "Year Zero." We go straight from 1 BC to 1 AD. Yes, folks, that's right: "AD," or "Anno Domine," literally "in the year of our Lord," is the year of Jesus' birth. When he wasn't yet born, it was 1 "BC" ("before Christ"). Once He was born, it instantly became 1 AD. He wasn't a year old until His first birthday, but His first appearance on this earth was the first "Anno Domine."

Reason the second: one does NOT count to ten by saying "0, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9." One counts to ten by saying "1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10." Note that "ten" comes at the END of the sequence, not the beginning. Note that we are now in "twenty-ten," the operative word being "ten." IT'S THE END OF THE CURRENT DECADE, NOT THE BEGINNING OF A NEW ONE.

Reason the third: Arthur C. Clarke, no intellectual slouch he, called his book "Two-Thousand-One" and not "Two-Thousand" for a very good reason. He knew that 2001 was the beginning of the new millennium, not 2000, which was, in fact, the end of the old one.

Observation the first: when did our schools get so bad at or lazy about teaching such fundamental counting techniques? And what does that mean for our desire to continue to be the world's leader in technology and scientific advancement when we can't even get something this simple correct?

Observation the second: even NPR had it wrong. All weekend, NPR shows were full of both retrospectives covering "the last decade" and speculations concerning "the new decade." When even NPR is getting it wrong, the battle has been lost. My heart breaks for the sake of the future.

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Please tell me I'm not the only person who is troubled by the underlying message of "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer." If you're different, it's OK for everyone else to make fun of you and to ostracize you. Worse, when what makes you different turns out to be advantageous, it's OK for everyone else to use your difference for their advantage, and you're supposed to go along and be grateful that you are now an "accepted" member of the "in" crowd. Which status would be snatched away in a second if you either stopped allowing yourself to be used or if you expressed anything other than 100% gratitude for everyone else's "beneficence" towards you.

Bah! Humbug! Indeed.

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The major sport of the past 10 days (other than dancing around in relief that Nebraska is back after the Huskers shellacked the Arizona Wildcats 33-0 in the Holiday Bowl) has been taking pot-shots at snow removal crews in the Metro area. I refuse to join in. Those people worked long and hard, probably missing Christmas Day dinner with their families (amongst other important aspects of the holiday celebrations), in a monumental effort to cope with a total snowfall over the past two weeks that outpaced most entire winters since the mid-70s.

But all that people seem to be concerned about is that (1) their street wasn't plowed out at once; and (2) the snowplow crews were pushing snow back into their driveways that they'd just shoveled. I have no sympathy for them. Major arterials and emergency routes have to be opened and kept clear first; the residential neighborhoods are a lower priority. That's life. If you don't want to be plowed out last, move to a location along an emergency route. Oh . . . but then you'd be on a busy street and not off in some quiet cul-de-sac somewhere. Grow up, people. You can't have it both ways.

And by the way--your driveways would not have been plowed back in if you hadn't shoveled your snow out into the street in the first place. You don't want your driveway plowed back in after a storm? Shovel your snow up onto your yard, not out into the street. Good grief! What a bunch of whiners and moaners!

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Bad enough that Christmas decorations are now up before Halloween in many retail establishments. Bad enough that we are pummelled with TV commercials and print ads to "buy, buy, buy" as if that were the reason for the holiday season. What's worse is that everything grinds to a complete stop on Christmas Day. Christmas Day should be the beginning of the celebration, not the end of it! "The Twelve Days of Christmas" start on Christmas Day and go until Epiphany (or Twelfth Night) Eve. Not only should we do more to keep the real reasons for the season foremost in our minds and hearts, we should try to spread the joy throughout the season as it was originally designed to be. Keep your lights and decorations up and on until at least Epiphany (January 6th). Listen to Christmas music till then, too. Don't just stop, turn away, and go on to the next buying occasion, despite all the store ads now appearing for Valentine's Day candy and gifts. Please!

If I Could Change Certain Things, I Most Certainly Would

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Have you seen the Kingsford Matchlight charcoal ad wherein the husband shoos his wife away from the barbecue grill, essentially telling her that since he doesn't go into the kitchen to make salad, she shouldn't try to light his fire [pun intended--Ed.]? He says "there's a technique," and then strikes a match and tosses it in . . . and the charcoal ignites. His wife, with appropriately subtle sarcasm, says "Wow." She then backs away, telling their guests that everything is OK.

I don't know the "genius" [and I use the term very loosely, indeed--Ed.] who created the ad; nor do I know the "geniuses" [ditto--Ed.] at Kingsford who approved it. So I am left with no way even to speculate a possible answer to my question: Why would ANYONE want to buy a product that says its users are idiots?

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I used to think that language was the thing that held America together, given our collective fundamental diversity of ethnic backgrounds and life experiences; but I am beginning to wonder. I've been doing a great deal of proofreading work of late. I am appalled by the lack of care and attention that intelligent and otherwise educated people give to their native tongue. And that's after I've made allowance for the fact that everyone, myself included, speaks less precisely than s/he writes, even in relatively formal situations, such as testifying under oath.

No one seems to care whether his/her subjects, verbs, and/or pronouns match--or even whether he/she includes subjects, verbs, and/or pronouns in the first place. No one seems to care whether his/her questions or answers to questions are understandable or responsive. [I especially hate it when someone is asked a "yes or no" question and gives an answer that says everything under the sun EXCEPT for "yes" or "no."--Ed.]

People have been making similar complaints about such signs of the decline and fall of civilization from, well, the decline and fall of Rome (if not earlier). Between the twin battering rams of modern high technology and the lack of organized, official grammar education in our elementary and junior high schools, however, we have exponentially increased the rate of decline. If we cannot understand each other, how can we expect to hang together as a society?

Then again, why am I spitting into the wind? Entropy increases. Still, whenever my time comes, I'd like to leave this "mortal coil" knowing I did my best to leave things better, not worse, for those who will follow.

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And what in the world is wrong with the people who still insist that Barack Obama is not legitimately the president because he's supposedly not a native-born US citizen? His birth certificate HAS been produced (despite all claims to the contrary); two different 1961 newspaper notices reporting his birth have been discovered and publicized; his election was certified by the US Congress, in accordance with the terms of the Constitution--and Congress never would have done that if there had been any legitimate doubts about Obama's ability to satisfy all Constitutionally-mandated requirements. Before the election last November, a right-wing web site even published all the information confirming that Obama is, in fact, a native-born US citizen. Besides, his mother was a US citizen, which automatically confers US citizenship on him. And Hawaii WAS a state in 1961.

The sad, simple truth is that these people are racists, pure and simple, but they don't want to say so--at least, not overtly. So they've latched onto this "issue" to spew their venom while disguising their real agenda. They are a bunch of small-minded, sad, hateful fools. And no matter how much proof is presented, they won't believe it. And they do America, the country they supposedly love so much, a great disservice.

I really hate willful ignorance. But I must remind myself that no one is ever going to be able to change their minds. Mark Twain was right: Never teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig.

When Will They Ever Learn? When Will They Ever Learn?

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Feel free to indulge yourselves in a verse and chorus or two of "Where Have All The Flowers Gone." The moral of every event I'm about to comment on is: those who do not know history are condemned to repeat it.

First, the "election" in Iran. I said (repeatedly, loudly, and often) in the weeks leading up to the voting that if Ahmadinejad won by more than 3-4 percent of the vote, people around the world would regard the election results as a fraud. If Ahmadinejad had made the returns look within the realm of probability, he'd have avoided the certain mess his theft of the election has now caused in Iran.

History instructs us, over and over and over again, that unexpectedly wide margins of victory, wherever and whenever they occur, invite accusations of election fraud. But Ahmadinejad let his ego get in the way, as all megalomaniacs throughout history have, and insisted on an overwhelming "margin" of victory. However, this is not necessarily a bad thing. He just may have sown the seeds of his own political destruction, which would be a very good outcome for the Iranian people and perhaps the rest of the world, indeed.

Furthermore, the bleating of those like US Senator John McCain is not helping. McCain insists that President Obama is in error for refusing to condemn the election results outright and express support for those opposed to Ahmadinejad. WRONG. McCain's grasp of foreign policy, even after all his years of service--military and political--is, shall we say, shaky. If Obama were to condemn the Iranian election results and express support for Ahmadinejad's opponents, all he would succeed in doing is undermining those opponents' efforts to effect change in their own country. They'd immediately be labelled by Ahmadinejad and his cronies as puppets of the evil American empire. Their credibility and their ability to fight Ahmadinejad would be destroyed. That would do absolutely no good. Obama's more prudent approach is the stuff of an incredibly sophisticated understanding of foreign policy, one McCain and his cohorts would do well to support, not snipe at.

Second, an issue of local, but large, import. One of the blessings of living in the greater metro Omaha area is being able to watch not one, but two states' public television offerings. We are just across the Missouri river from Council Bluffs, Iowa, which has its own Iowa Public TV broadcasting substation, so we get both Nebraska Educational TV (NETV) and Iowa Public TV (IPTV). They do not carry the same programming, not by any stretch of the imagination. For one thing, IPTV has a larger population, so it has more money, so it can afford to air programming NETV cannot at present purchase. And even when they do carry the same programming, they do not always carry the shows at the same time, which makes it easier for those of us with varying schedules and no DVR not to miss anything we really want to watch.

However, when "Digital Transition Day" came and went, Cox Communications moved IPTV off the Nebraska Basic and Expanded Basic tiers of service, which came as a rude shock to many, many people. After all, Cox had been advertising for the better part of a year that people with Cox Cable service would not have to do anything to survive the transition to digital TV. Turns out they are either going to have to do without an important channel or spend more to continue to get it.

Cox is hiding behind legalisms and excuses, to wit: (a) IPTV officials signed off on the switch months ago, so blame IPTV, not Cox; and (b) Cox is required by law to carry only one PBS station, and for Nebraskans, it's NETV. I know IPTV made one announcement about a year ago that it was going to all-digital broadcasting, AS OF AUGUST 2008. No one from IPTV said anything about that having an effect on anyone's ability to receive IPTV after the transition to all-digital broadcasting. And Cox may be required by law to carry only one PBS station per market, but the reality is that an awful lot of people on the Nebraska side of the Missouri not only watch IPTV, they contribute to IPTV on a regular basis. They thus have now been denied something they actually already paid for.

Cox's slogan is "your friend in the digital age." Right. If the people at Cox would take that seriously, plus study a little history, they'd realize that people and organizations which routinely hide behind legalisms and technicalities instead of stepping up and doing the right thing wind up despised. To use an apt (though vastly more important, on a cosmic scale) example, compare the reactions of the US public to JFK's speech after the Bay of Pigs with Nixon's days and months and years of denials and obfuscations about Watergate. Kennedy's reputation never took a serious pounding, and indeed, has grown over time--for he stood up, did the mature thing, told the truth, and got on with the nation's business. Nixon was hounded and hounded and hounded and eventually had to resign. And while some fanatics would have you believe otherwise, the general assessment of history is that Nixon's behavior rightly resulted in his being ranked as one of the very worst presidents in America's history.

Third, the illegally-leaked information that Sammy Sosa tested positive for performance-enhancing drug use back in 2003. I don't think anyone is shocked by the news itself. It's been an open but unacknowledged secret for years that Sosa was not immune from the taint of the "steroids era" in baseball. [But only a few names of the 103 total players on the list have become known. Heck, the list was supposed to have been destroyed six years ago.--Ed.] But I, for one, am shocked by the fact of the leak at this time. I cannot help but think it has more to do with some people's need for petty vengeance than with reporting news the public needs to know right now. For the leak came just a day or two after Sosa officially announced his retirement--and his hope, given that he ranks 6th on the all-time home run leaders list, that he'll someday be a Hall of Famer.

But there's a larger issue in all this that troubles me. I read a slew of comments posted to an online USA Today story about the leak, and most of the comments were venomous in their condemnation of Sosa--a black Latino. I don't remember seeing anyone else in the entire "steroids era" mess get ripped to such shreds. Certainly not the white Roger Clemens and Mark McGwire; not even Rafael Palmiero and Alex Rodriguez, who are both Latino, but not black.

Not only is racism NOT dead in this country, it's spitting fire every chance it gets. It's almost as if the racists realize they can't attack our president, so they are spewing their venom even more violently at anyone else who they can shoehorn into their stereotypes.

They are even slamming Sammy [pun intended--Ed.] for being a cheater for using a corked bat in a game. Well, it did happen. I saw that game, and I was suitably embarrassed for Sammy by it. However, what the haters are forgetting is this: that corked bat shattered when Sosa put the ball in play, and after he was thrown out at first base, he didn't run around frantically gathering up the pieces of the bat before anyone else had a chance to examine them. He calmly went back to the dugout. That tells me that Sosa's use of the corked bat during the game was inadvertent. Using that incident to condemn him further is just piling on; it's also intellectually dishonest. All great power hitters in baseball traditionally have used corked bats during batting practice to give an extra thrill to the fans who came early to watch them "do their thing." Thus it's not like his having the corked bat per se justifies the thrashing Sosa has received.

Sosa was naive if he expected his retirement announcement and his expressed desire to be selected for the Hall of Fame to come without negative comment. Even Babe Ruth was not voted in unanimously. I was naive for not expecting an anonymous leak about his inclusion on the list of those who tested positive back in 2003. And anyone who thinks that President Obama's election meant the end of racism in America is beyond naive. No progress comes without backlash, and in this case the potential for hate-filled, violent backlash is a frightening certainty.

That being said, I still wish the president's approach to domestic policy would show a little more backbone and a little less willingness to water down or even renege on campaign promises he made. He's giving the GOP minority much more clout that it deserves to have in terms of its absolute numbers. And the GOP is learning the wrong lesson from that. The GOP perceives that the louder it bleats, the more influence it will have. So every time Obama lets the GOP have any genuine input, the bleating gets louder instead of dying down. Remember, the present GOP "leaders" got the idea that they lost the November 2008 elections because their party was not far enough to the right. Their analytical skills are clearly about 180° out of whack.

Yes, Obama is a masterful politician. And yes, I recognize that he operates under the correct assumption that politics is the art of the possible. And I admit to suffering from a bit of "issue fatigue." But he's doing the minimum possible, not the maximum possible, right now. Besides, at an even deeper level, I am mad as hell that the minority with money is continuing to exert undue influence over the way the rest of us have to live, while it goes on its merry way, controlling the vast majority of the power in this country, making those of us who can afford it the least pay for and otherwise bear all the burdens of the benefits they enjoy entirely out of proportion to their numbers.

As an honest study of US history demonstrates, most of us will eventually acquiesce. We don't have the time or the money or the energy to do much more than cope with our daily lives. And those with enough money and power to stall progress will once again wait us out. They can afford to. The president does know history; he thinks his cautious approach is warranted. I, however, disagree. We don't need a mediator--mediators are for parties with relatively equal bargaining power. We need a champion--someone who can build up our side of the playing field so that it's level at last.

Some Items From The Week, In Review

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Count me among those who will miss ER. I watched the retrospective and the 2-hour final episode last night, and all I can say is this: any show that, after 15 years, can make me laugh out loud one moment, bring tears to my eyes the next, surprise me with the twists and turns of various story arcs, and make me yearn for more has not overstayed its welcome--whatever its Nielsen ratings.

The writing on this show has been the best in television for so long that it's easy to forget how excellent it is. The proof? The writers do not believe in unflawed characters, even the ones we are supposed to like--especially the ones we are supposed to like. Mark Greene sacrificed his first marriage to his ER job; Abby Lockhart was an alcoholic; Peter Benton was egotistical to the max; John Carter got addicted to painkillers; Archie Moore was a twit . . . you name a character, I can name his or her often massive shortcomings. Yet we cared about all of them anyway.

The writers do not believe in sweetness and light and universally happy endings. One example: John Carter and his wife Kim love each other very much. But he loves Chicago, too; it's his home. For Kim, however, Chicago is the place her baby died. Her grief when she is physically there drowns out everything else. So they stay married, but both in pain and cut off from each other in important ways.

At the same time, the writers are skilled enough to give a sense of closure through the mechanism of the new beginning. I was thrilled to see that Rachel Greene, daughter of the late, great Mark Greene, intends to pursue a career in medicine--ER medicine--and was taking her first substantive steps toward that goal as the episode closed.

For me, watching ER has been like reading a good book, one I'll gladly reread more than once. I grieve that there will be no more new episodes. I rejoice that TNT is running the series as part of its weekday morning "Prime Time In The Daytime" block. [I just wish TNT didn't have to cut vital, even if small, snippets from every episode to accommodate additional commercial time. Oh, well. Nothing's perfect.--Ed.]

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US Attorney General Eric Holder did the right thing in dismissing the indictments against Ted Stevens, former US Senator from Alaska. Stevens' conviction on those indictments was so flawed by prosecutorial misconduct that Holder had no other choice--not if he intends to run a Department of Justice that does justice instead of playing politics.

My observations: (1) This doesn't mean Stevens did not lie on his US Senate financial disclosure forms; all it means is that the prosecution messed up the case so badly that Stevens did not receive a fair trial.

(2) It doesn't mean the Department of Justice could not get a conviction after a new trial, a new trial being the almost certain ruling coming out of Stevens' appeal of his conviction. It just means the DOJ has more important and pressing problems to resolve as both part of getting its credibility back and using its limited resources to their fullest effect.

(3) The egregious prosecutorial misconduct happened in George W. Bush's "Justice" Department, to a staunch Republican senator. No objective standards, no oversight, no respect for the spirit AND the letter of the law. Typical of Dubya's entire administration.

(4) A Democratic Attorney General accepted the responsibility of cleaning up the mess. He could have fought Stevens' appeal and prosecuted the new trial. He was smart enough to realize that, given Stevens' age (86) and the fact that he was not re-elected in 2008, dropping the indictments was the most prudent course of action. It was not only the right thing to do, it was the practical thing to do.

(5) For Holder understands that the goal of the prosecution is NOT to get convictions, but to see that justice is done . . . a concept that regrettably is lost on too many people, including too many prosecutors.

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I've said this before, but I'm saying it again. I am sick and tired of all the whiny high school seniors out there who are upset that Mummy and Daddy can no longer finance their college educations 100%. I was born near the middle of the calendar year that had the highest birth rate of the entire Baby Boom. I came to college age during the era of the OPEC oil embargo and stagflation. I've spent my whole life competing for resources that weren't expanded to meet the challenges of the Baby Boom until about 2 years after I needed them. [That's everything from desks in school to scholarships to student loans, to--well, you name it.--Ed.] My parents fully expected me to go to college, but I had to find my own way to pay for it.

So to those whiny seniors: GET A JOB. Suck it up and deal with it. Learn some history. This may be the first time it's happened to you, but this isn't the first time it's happened. You are not the center of the universe. Get over yourselves.

You know, I don't normally agree with much of what child-raising expert John Rosemond says in his weekly newspaper column. I have to agree with him about this, however: parents should not try to be their children's friends. They are parents, and they should act the part. Otherwise, you wind up with generations of spoiled, selfish, self-centered brats like the ones we have now. [For which I largely blame my fellow Baby Boomers, by the way. We weren't going to raise our kids the way we were raised, by God, and now we're paying the price--our kids raised their kids the way we raised them, and their kids in turn raised theirs the same way.--Ed.]

Self-esteem does not come from being told "you're wonderful" no matter what awful things you do. Self-esteem comes from having the inner certainty that you are capable of dealing with whatever life throws at you. Parents who want our schools to tell their students what to think are wrong. Children should be taught HOW to think, not what to think. The genuinely educated don't necessarily have all the "book-larnin'" in the universe. They know how to find out what they need to know to solve the problems that confront them in their daily lives. And they have the confidence that they will succeed through applying that knowledge, not through some superficial pre-conception that they are everyone's darlings and should get what they want just because they want it.

Random Observations On The Passing Scene

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[With my thanks to whomever coined the title phrase . . . and my apologies for not remembering who that was . . .--Ed.]

Some Democrats want to put up a billboard in Rush Limbaugh's Florida home town to demonstrate how limited his popularity really is. My first thought upon hearing this was the simple, stylish, even poetic "Flush Rush!" Thinking better of it, I have settled upon this: "Eliminate Global Warming! Shut The Rush Up!"

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A dear friend and I recently discussed why the ideas of the right wing are in general so very, very wrong. For one thing, the right wing's "ideas" have been on the wrong side of history every time, from not wanting to end slavery to giving non-landowners the vote, to ending child labor, to giving women the vote, to instituting a minimum wage, to allowing labor unions, to enforcing equal civil rights for all . . . you name it.

As one particular instance, I cite Calvin Coolidge's oft-quoted observation that "the business of America is business." He was wrong--what's good for business is not necessarily good for the people, and America is both (1) a government of laws and not of men, and (2) a government of the people, by the people, and for the people. Coolidge did not see the distinction, of course, because in his day the laws and the courts claimed that corporations were people too, and that John Q. Public, lone individual, had equal bargaining power to all the resources any corporation could marshal against him.

That was a legal fiction of which we did well to rid ourselves. But those who stand to gain from it (at the expense of those of us with more modest means) keep proclaiming it. Will the right wing ever figure out that no matter how loudly and for how long they shout it, it isn't true?

I doubt it. For the other major reason the right wing is and has been on the wrong side of history is that most of its adherents are shockingly indifferent to matters of FACT. Rush Limbaugh has already tried to call the present economic meltdown "the Obama recession," even though it started long before he won the Democratic Party's presidential nomination, let alone was elected President.

More than one right-winger has claimed that FDR started the Great Depression, even though a cursory examination of the calendar proves it was in full swing for nearly 4 years before he was inaugurated President. Many right-wingers have claimed the New Deal didn't work, because it was World War II that got us out of the Great Depression and not anything FDR did . . . but federal spending is federal spending, whether it's on roads and rural electrification projects or on military armament. So even it we didn't get out of the Great Depression till we entered WWII, it was still federal SPENDING [read that "economic stimulus"--Ed.] that saved us. If the New Deal informs us of anything, it informs us that the federal government's spending was not big enough until after Pearl Harbor. Hence the arguments of eminent economists like Paul Krugman and Robert Reich that Obama's plan isn't big enough.

It's impossible to respect anyone who defends his views by lying or distorting documented historical facts. It's impossible to give such views credibility when all that supports them is quicksand. Until the GOP learns how to argue for its positions based on truth, its positions are more bankrupt than Lehman Brothers.

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In case you're thinking I just exhibited left-leaning bias, let me note that I have no use for Michael Moore, either. Of late, he's been called the Democratic equivalent of Rush Limbaugh, and in some respects, that's true. Moore lies. Several incidents from many of his films, including those from Bowling for Columbine to Sicko, have been misreconstructed or otherwise misrepresented. He also states "facts" incorrectly. In that regard, he's no better than Limbaugh. He should not be calling his films "documentaries" and he should not be excused for his excesses . . . even if he is largely correct as far as goes the substance of his arguments on the issues. As he is, however, I have no use for him, and no other "liberals" should, either.

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I hope Frank DeFord was kidding on Wednesday when he said on NPR that he could not understand why the clock was stopped in a football game after an incomplete pass but not after a run or a completed pass. After a run (whether it loses or gains yardage) or a completed pass, there's no reason to stop the clock: the ball is already at the spot whence the next play will be run. After an incomplete pass, however, the ball could be 99 yards away from the line of scrimmage. Not to stop the clock while the ball is returned to the next play's starting point would waste too much time. We want game time to be filled by playing the game (as much as possible), not by "administrative" tasks like returning the ball to the line of scrimmage. C'mon, Frank! You know better! I hope . . .

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Why Reaganomics is dead, though those few who benefited from it will keep trying to resurrect it: in 1980, the richest 1% of the population held 9% of the total wealth of this country. After a quarter century of generally right-wing economics in action unfettered by the federal government, however, the richest 1% of the population held 22% of the total wealth of this country. That's obscene, and it gives the ultimate lie to "trickle down" economics. The richest do not use their increased wealth to help the rest of us become wealthier; they hoard it and want more and more and more for themselves alone. Under trickle down economics, the only thing that ever trickled down was the rich peeing on the rest of us.

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I used to say that if most of the people on Wall Street had been alive 350-400 years ago, they'd have been pirates. After repeated viewings of Pirates of the Caribbean 3: At World's End, however, I find I must modify that observation. Three-hundred-fifty to four hundred years ago, most people now on Wall Street would have been working for the East India Company: all's fair in war and business. The ones who wouldn't have been working for the East India Company would have been the pirates who cast their lot WITH the East India Company. The pirates fighting the East India Company and its allies and minions today would be union organizers.

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I laugh every time I see a commercial telling women that this miracle makeup or that miracle medical procedure will eliminate lines and wrinkles. For one thing, I feel as though those of us with lines and wrinkles have earned them. For another, most women who are so concerned about lines and wrinkles also buy into the ideas that a woman cannot be attractive until she (1) is tanned to the color of bronze, and (2) is underweight to the point of anorexia.

You want to lose the lines and wrinkles? Stay out of the sun and gain 10 pounds already!

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I saw my first two robins of the spring this morning. There are still a few isolated patches of snow on the ground, but after we get the thunderstorms predicted to start late tonight, they should melt away. People are already playing golf and running around in t-shirts and shorts. Ah, spring in Nebraska. Nothing else like it! Let's just hope it lasts a while this year and that we don't go from breezy, cool but sunny 65° highs to oppressively humid sun-beating-down mercilessly 100°+ in the shade the way we did last year. I like spring a lot more when it hangs around a while than I do when it comes and goes in 24 hours.

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Cats know how to push people's buttons. I had to take my two heathens to the vet for their annual checkups and distemper booster shots yesterday. When we all got home, they made it perfectly plain that I was in their bad graces. They both sat in plain sight with their backs to me for the entire evening. Things are back to normal [as normal as they ever are around here, that is--Ed.] today, but I guess I was taught my lesson.

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Daylight Savings Time starts again at 2 a.m. Sunday morning. BLEAH! All I can say is this: the ONLY good thing about DST is going off it in the fall.

Alphabet Soup, N-Z

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"N" is for "no," as in "No Child Left Behind." Apparently the name of the Dubya administration education legislation has proven to be a rich source of humor. Many people want to change the name of the law to something more serious, to give it more credibility--or to something more humorous, to reflect its ineptitude. Suggestions are welcomed and are being accepted on a blog at www.eduwonk.com, according to an article published in Sunday's Omaha World-Herald. Send one in!

"O" is for "Oscars," as in the Academy Awards ceremonies Sunday night. Some random observations: (1) Either too many women went to the same designer, or the variety of ideas among designers this year was especially paltry. At least three women were dressed in variations of a one-shoulder blue dress with a black sash/scarf/belt thing. Appalling! (2) I don't know why Will Smith didn't come up in discussions for best-dressed male in the post-Oscar fashion reviews. His tux was exceedingly well-tailored. He looked plenty sharp to me. (3) I greatly enjoyed Hugh Jackman's big production number, with top hat and tails . . . I'm just glad he didn't include a snippet of "Puttin' On The Ritz." If he had, I would have snorted my hot cocoa out my nose. [Remember Young Frankenstein? 'Nuff said.--Ed.]

"P" is for "penny," as in the new series of Lincoln cents, to be released throughout this year to honor the bicentennial anniversary of Lincoln's birth. I hope the US Mint doesn't get rid of the penny. As a purely practical matter, I know they are more of a pain to deal with than they are worth, but I like them, and I think I'm not alone in that. Besides, when I lived in Germany, none of the US facilities used pennies--they were too expensive to ship overseas and back--everything was rounded to the nearest nickel. It probably came out about even in the end, but most of the Americans I knew over there could not escape a vague suspicion that we all were being ripped off.

"Q" is for "quarters," as in this year's release of 6 quarters to recognize US Territories and other unique geo-political entities, such as Washington, D.C. It's a supplement to the 10-year program (that ended in 2008) of quarters honoring each of the 50 states. I just wish there were a way to display the new ones with the first 50. I have yet to see a display rack, frame, or folder for the 50-state series that provided spaces for the extra six 2009 mintings. Bummer!

"R" is for "reality," as in "soap operas need a real reality check sometimes." The way soaps present legal proceedings is beyond ludicrous. Hearsay and irrelevant testimony are routinely allowed, rules of evidence are ignored, rulings are arbitrary and capricious, and legitimate legal points are stricken--I suppose all for the sake of dramatic impact. But I worry about the wrong impressions of the legal system that they present to the general public. When will soap writers learn from shows like Law and Order that you can be just as dramatic while being mostly accurate?

And the soaps' presentation of medical procedures and their aftermaths is just as bad. On one soap [which shall remain nameless because I do like to watch it nonetheless--Ed.], a character who's been in a coma for three months and who needed--and got--a heart transplant during her coma has now awoken, was released from the hospital less than a week after the surgery, is not wearing a face mask or taking any other normal steps to avoid post-transplant infections, and is walking around normally even though her character's entire chest had to be cut open to do the transplant. I know we must suspend our disbelief, and I do like watching certain soaps [they are, after all, the modern incarnation of a Dickens serial novel--Ed.], but how hard can it be to pay a modicum of attention to reality when dramatizing real medical procedures? Especially when the same soaps are overtly supporting Women's Heart Health Month--even if most of the support consists of including Campbell's products by name in the dialog?

"S" is for "satellites" and "submarines," as in "Oops! We collided nuclear ones!" Talk about taking atom-smashing to a whole new level!

"T" is for "tax credits," as in will they really work as economic stimulus? Doubtful. What about all the people who do not qualify for them but who nevertheless are teetering on the brink of financial ruin? What if you qualify for enough of them so that you should get a refund, but since the rules tend to say you cannot reduce your taxes owed below "0.00," you get nothing back? And will the reduction in payroll withholding that's going to give the average person $8.00 a week more per pay period make a real difference in how people spend?

"U" is for "Upton," as in Upton Sinclair. His muckraking masterwork, The Jungle, is as relevant to food safety issues today as it was about a century ago when he gruesomely detailed abuses in the meat-packing industry. The Jungle helped spur creation of the FDA. Maybe the salmonella deaths engendered by the deliberate behavior of executives at the Peanut Corporation of America will encourage strengthening or even reorganizing and streamlining, thus improving, enforcement of food safety laws and regulations we already have. One can only hope.

"V" is for "violets," as in the delicate purple flowers of spring. I love their scent. Spring IS coming, despite local forecasts for snow later this week. Bring on the warmer weather! [I just wish we could skip summer altogether. It's too hot and humid for me.--Ed.]

"W" is for "what," as in "What's wrong with this picture?" A recent local TV news item reported that a man accused of two crimes got bail set at a total of $100,000 . . . thus even with a bail bondsman's services, the accused would have to pony up $10,000 to get out of jail. But the breakdown of the bail by crime is what distresses me. For the charge of sexually assaulting a 14-year-old girl, bail was set at $25,000. For stealing a painting, bail was set at $75,000. Tain't right, Magee. To suggest that a girl is worth only 1/3 of what a piece of property is worth is beyond offensive. Why aren't the pro-life activists protesting THAT?

"X" is for "X-rated," as in my reaction to the reasons given on NPR yesterday by South Carolina's Republican governor for his reluctance to take any of the federal economic stimulus money allocated to his state. For one thing, he out-and-out lied about facts. He claimed that we've already spent too much on stimulus that didn't work, conveniently forgetting that the first $700 billion--for the banks--was pressed and passed by the Dubya administration with no strings attached. Considering that the banks are what got us into this mess, the lack of strings is the problem, not the stimulus. Second, he claimed that the billions requested by GM didn't work because GM came back "a week" later asking for more . . . forgetting that (1) GM received only part of the total initial allocation and was required to come back to show its plans to justify receiving more, and (2) that the total allocation itself was far lower than what economists of all political stripes estimated GM would need to survive.

For another thing, by refusing the stimulus funds, he's hurting the people of his own state. Playing politics should NEVER come before doing the public good. At least Florida Gov. Crist (also a Republican) understands that. He campaigned for John McCain last year, but recognizing the economic meltdown's disastrous consequences for his constituents, he's welcoming the stimulus money and correctly proclaiming that some things are bigger than politics. For which he's being excoriated by yet another member of the Bush family, who called Crist a "D-light," as in "Democrat, lite." Boy, irrelevant insults just totally out-argue the facts, don't they--NOT!

"Y" is for "yammering," as what the talking heads of all political stripes are doing to excess. The current and omnipresent 24/7 news cycle requires all these people to talk about something, but hashing and rehashing and rerehashing a few facts and filling the rest of the time with endless speculation is not productive. I for one am tired of hearing 2 minutes of news and 28 minutes of speculating about what the news during the next broadcast will be. SHADDUP, already, all of you! By limiting yourselves to reporting news when there is news, you could actually report additional facts about stories on other topics--topics that now are being largely ignored--and give your audience both broader and more in-depth coverage instead of the continual yelping and endless speculating about a few narrow topics that you do now.

"Z" is for "Zambrano, Carlos," as in the Chicago Cubs' number one pitcher. Spring training has started, and Opening Day is now only a few short weeks away! Hooray, baseball! Hooray, spring! Hooray for the eternal promise of "next year is here!"

Alphabet Soup, A to M

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"A" is for "A-Roid." [Kudos to whomever coined that phrase!--Ed.] Count me among the people who were not surprised this week when Alex Rodriguez's story/apology for his steroid use fell apart almost as soon as he made it. While I respect his prodigious baseball talent, I've never cared much for him as a person. Everything with him always seemed to be studied, calculated, posed. No spontaneity, no genuine warmth. He's gonna get what he deserves.

"B" is for "Burris," as in "Bye-Bye!" So now that he got appointed to what had been Barack Obama's US Senate seat, Roland Burris says (contrary to his testimony under oath at now ex-governor Rod Blagojevich's impeachment trial) he did actually talk about and attempt fund-raising for B-Rod. His defense (and thus justification for not resigning due to his lies) is that his fund-raising efforts were not successful. Current Illinois Governor Pat Quinn as said flat out that Burris should consider resigning. Even President Obama has said Burris ought to take some serious time and "reflect." Sounds like the kiss of death to me.

"C" is for "chimp cartoon," as in "not funny." Almost everything that can be said has been said about the offensive cartoon run in one of this week's New York Post issues, except this: the people, including the cartoonist himself, who still deny that the cartoon is racist or that it meant anything bad (like encouraging people to shoot President Obama) are so entrenched in their racism that they can't see it even when it's put right under their noses. That is beyond sad. It's frightening.

"D" is for "Darwin," whose bicentennial birthday anniversary most of us celebrate. For those who still claim Darwin is wrong: in every way that his "theory" of evolution can be tested by the scientific method, it has never been found wrong. Maybe its details need to be tweaked a bit; that's only natural, and that's what happens to every scientific theory. Reproducible results are what's wanted, and in every instance, Darwin's idea has been vindicated. Disagree with it all you want on religious grounds--your objections are irrelevant, for Darwin never claimed to explain WHY the world evolved as it has. "Why" is the question for religion--it's the question answered by "intelligent design." By definition, it is not scientific. All Darwin tried to do was answer the question "how." And at that, he succeeded. You cannot deny evolution--you see one example of it in action all around you every year in the annual mutation of the flu virus.

"E" is for "energy, green." And what's up with the people who oppose wind power because they don't want the windmills to "spoil the view"? Don't they realize that smog and other carbon-based pollution spoils not just the view but that which is in the view far more than a line of modern windmills ever could?

"F" is for "foreclosures." Fie on those who say we shouldn't help people who are drowning in the middle of the housing crisis--letting them just go down the drain will have the effect of lowering everyone else's property values. Are you sure that's what you really want? I don't think so, especially when your property taxes are not going to go down either as much or as quickly. Besides, we already bailed out the "losers" amongst the banking system, largely because they were "too big to fail." Collectively, letting homeowners continue to go bankrupt with no effort to restructure their mortgages will be just as big a drag on the overall economy. If not bigger.

"G" is for "Gonzo," as in Alberto Gonzales. The disgraced (but to date unindicted) former US Attorney General has said he'll be glad to "cooperate" with congressional investigators so long as their focus is not "political." Note that he didn't define "political." He claims that he has always cooperated in the past. Note that this "cooperation" consisted of answering all questions with variations of "I don't know" or "I can't recall."

"H" is for "hypocrites." Many GOP members of the US House of Representatives and US Senate, who to a person voted AGAINST President Obama's economic stimulus package, sure haven't been shy about taking credit for the money the package will bring into their home districts and states. To quote from Monty Python and the Holy Grail, "You're not fooling anyone, you know."

"I" is for "Indiana Jones Monopoly." Monopoly is my favorite board game, I think because I have always loved playing with the tokens the players use to track their progress around the board. The tokens in this specialty edition are especially wonderful. They are well-made, good-sized, heavy, and like the board and the "fortune" and "glory" cards, reference all four movies. You can choose Indy's fedora, Dr. Jones Senior's Grail diary, Indy's bullwhip, the Grail cup itself, an alien skull, or a mine car. How fun is that?

"J" is for "Japanese (former) finance minister." Did you see the tapes of his appearance at the recent G8 meetings? I agree with Rachel Maddow--I don't care what the man claims about merely having taken too much cold medicine. He was hammered. Totally. In public. He got off easy with his resignation. In the old days, he'd have had to commit seppoku for the loss of face he created for the entire country.

"K" is for "kooky," as in several remarks made by GOP members this week. Michelle Backman [if that's the wrong name or misspelled, please let me know--Ed.], US House of Representatives member from Minnesota, not only erroneously claimed ACORN was getting $5 billion-with-a-B dollars in the stimulus plan (ACORN is getting exactly zero dollars, thank you very much), but complained in a talk-radio interview that "America is running out of rich people" due to Obama's tax policies. Alan Keyes, token black GOP member, perpetual GOP also-ran, and loser to Barack Obama in the US Senate race, claimed that Obama was an out-and-out Communist who had to be stopped--and tried again to raise the thoroughly discredited notion that Obama isn't REALLY the president because we don't know whether he was REALLY born in the USA.

On one hand, these continued outrages irritate me because of their sheer stupidity. [The "he must be stopped" comment also frightens me because I can see someone using that as an excuse to shoot Obama.--Ed.] On the other, I love to see them because they signify that the GOP is becoming so marginalized and so desperate it no longer cares whether it's getting credible attention. Any attention at all seems to be enough. I hope we are well on the way to seeing the end of this perversion of what used to be a noble political franchise.

"M" is for "minor league baseball franchise," which may not be in Omaha much longer. The Omaha Royals have to date refused to sign a contract to play in Mayor Fahey's new downtown stadium [I don't care who gets corporate naming rights. It will always be "Fahey's Folly" to me.--Ed.], and are actively looking elsewhere since the venerable Rosenblatt Stadium will be torn down after the 2010 College World Series. Plans for the downtown stadium have already been cut way back--the retail shopping area that was supposed to help draw the crowds have been scrapped, allegedly because of the current economic situation . . . but really because with only Creighton University games and the College World Series guaranteed to be played there, there's not enough draw and retailers are not interested. The plans were scrapped long before the true scope of the economic meltdown became apparent.

Yet people are dreaming: Sarpy County, south of Omaha's Douglas County, is pushing hard to get the Royals to commit to playing here, and the county will build a stadium to suit. Omahans are dreaming of the Iowa Cubs moving to Omaha, now that the local Ricketts family owns the Chicago Cubs. I think neither of these things will happen. Sarpy County cannot afford to build a suitable stadium, and as far as I know, the Iowa Cubs are perfectly happy in Des Moines. Well, spring is coming, and hope springs eternal, and all that jazz . . .

Someone Really Underestimated The Creepiness

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Have you seen the E*Trade (?) commercial wherein the baby is trading online and says he's going to use his "extra coin" to rent a clown? We then see Bobo making balloon animals in the background. The ad's tag line is "I really underestimated the creepiness." No kidding!

Whomever hired Dennis Hopper to be Amerprise's ad spokesman really underestimated the creepiness, too. There is something fundamentally wrong about having a 60s counterculture icon tout retirement funds.

Or maybe I'm just grumpy because it reminds me that I'm getting older despite myself.

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I watched a DVD yesterday of 15 Academy Award-winning cartoons. Most were originally produced by MGM, though the funniest were originally produced by Warner Brothers. [Hey, I like "Tom and Jerry" just fine, but those cartoons are really a one-trick pony.--Ed.] The oddest inclusion was a winner not for "Best Animated Feature" but for "Best Documentary Short." It was a 1950s era promotion for the Public Health Service, directed by the venerable Chuck Jones.

If you saw it, I think you'd cry. I did. It promoted a vision of Public Health Services as a positive good, costing every taxpaying American a whopping (!) 3¢ a day [yes, this was back in the day when you could max out a 2-hour parking meter for 1¢, but still!--Ed.], and its emphasis was on the high quality and wide quantity of services offered throughout one's life, all because it was both better for everyone and cheaper for everyone to support universal systematic public health services than it is to let them be implemented haphazardly--or not at all.

Remember: this was during Dwight Eisenhower's presidency. What the heck has gone wrong in the succeeding 50 years? [That was a rhetorical question.--Ed.] I am in mourning for a sensible vision and plan lost.

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Have you seen the new Major League Baseball Network (MLBN)? It has been a godsend to those of us for whom this is the bleakest time of year . . . which only gets worse once the Super Bowl is over. Still, pitchers and catchers are scheduled to report to Spring Training on Valentine's Day, so happy days will soon be here again.

Anyway, the best program I've seen on MLBN so far is "Prime 9," which lists the nine best in any number of major league baseball categories ranging from "The Best Characters" of the game to "The Greatest Shortstops" in major league history. It's a top-nine list instead of a top-ten list because, after all, baseball has nine players per side and a game usually lasts nine innings. The show also promises to start more arguments than it stops.

I'll second that. One episode that just aired was for "The Greatest Records." Note that this is "records" as opposed to "feats." Hitting 3 home runs in a single game is a feat. Hitting for 56 games in a row is a record. I have no quarrel with any of that. What I did disagree with was that Joe DiMaggio's 56-game hitting streak was ranked only 7th on the list. It has been said by wiser heads than mine that the hardest thing to do in sports is to hit a round ball with a cylindrical bat so squarely that the batter is rewarded with a base hit.

Not only did DiMaggio do something that no one else ever has been able to come within even six games of accomplishing, it was a solo effort. Baseball is unique in that it's a team game that allows for individual accomplishment by every starter on each team. A team can still win even if one--or more than one--individual team member has a slump. But no one else could do it for Joltin' Joe. The streak lasted as long as he could make it. [Yes, he did get a favorable scoring decision in the middle of it, but that happened well before he was into record-breaking territory, so it should not count against him or minimize his effort.--Ed.] So the "degree of difficulty" was higher for DiMaggio than it was for all the team records on the list. I'd have ranked it as high as #2, right behind Cy Young's career win total of 511, which came in at #1, and ahead of Cal Ripken's 2,632 consecutive games played streak, which "Prime 9" ranked as #2.

By the way, I mean no disrespect at all to Cal Ripken. What he did is gargantuan. But anyone who chooses to play for 16+ years and who wills himself to start in every game (no matter what injury or illness he may have) has a chance to break that record. It's mostly a question of mental toughness. However, no matter how much you want to, hitting in more than 56 games in a row is harder than starting every day, even for 16 years in a row. The hitting streak requires the player to conquer many variables that are totally out of his control. To name just three: the home plate umpire's strike zone, the pitcher's "stuff" on any given day [and now that the game has specialty pitching down to the level of short-relievers and closers, the degree of difficulty is raised even higher than it was in DiMaggio's day--Ed.], and the official scorer's decision on close fielding plays.

"Prime 9" ranked the New York Yankees' five-years-in-a-row streak of World Series championships from 1949-1954 at #3, which was the highest team record listed. In my rankings, it would have been #4. But "Prime 9" did get it right in terms ranking team vs. individual accomplishments. I do think no other team ever will win the World Series for five years running. The last team to win even three World Series in a row was the Oakland A's, and that was 20 years ago. As the Yankees'(and for that matter, the Atlanta Braves') recent travails have illustrated, even with the best players in the game, it's so much harder to get back to the World Series than it used to be that even repeating becomes nearly impossible. Five-in-a-row? Unthinkable.

Of course, I hope I am remembering correctly that Cy Young came in at #1. Pitching has changed more than any other aspect of the game, it seems to me, and not only will no pitcher ever get to 511 wins ever again, we may never see another career 300-game winner after Randy Johnson and Todd Glavine retire.

I will say that every entry in the "Prime 9" list deserved to be there. Probably none of those records will ever be broken. But then again, one of the great beauties of baseball is that every year we see things we've never seen before, including the breaking of supposedly "unbreakable" records.

So I won't hold my breath.

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You know what one of the most immediate signs of the economic meltdown has been? TV advertisers are using old commercials instead of coming out with new ones. This is tax season, and H&R Bloch is using a commercial (the one with the guy in the "money suit") it first used at least a year ago. And most of the "baby doing online trading" commercials premiered over a year ago, in time for last year's Super Bowl.

Watching the ads during this year's Super Bowl is going to be very, very instructive.

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Back in the 60s, 70s, 80s, and even the 90s, I used to want to scream at those who were pushing an agenda of greater rights for states (at the expense of both individuals and the federal government's proper, Constitutionally-ordained bailiwick) that "The Civil War ended in 1865. You lost. Get over it! Grow up and move on, already!"

The 00s ["the Aughts?"--what are we going to call this decade, anyway?--Ed.] have changed precisely nothing. When true civil libertarians lose on an issue, we are supposed to suck it up and move on--so why aren't the forces of reaction required to do the same? They have all the money, that's why. They can afford to keep rehashing their losing causes until they get their way.

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And while we're at it, a quiz: what grates on the ears like fingernails on a blackboard? The GOP's lockstep use of the noun "Democrat" when grammar requires the use of the adjective "Democratic." I am ready to pull out my hair every time I hear some GOP wise-ass say "The Democrat Party" this and "The Democrat Party" that.

AAARRRRGGHHHHH!

I know why they do it. Some dim bulb in the GOP who fancies him/herself a bright light decided it would be better to be grammatically incorrect than to have even the slightest hint that someone would hear small-D "democratic" instead of capital-D "Democratic." And GOP spokespeople followed in lockstep. Heaven forfend that Republicans should even inadvertently seem to compliment Democrats or give them the positive attribute of being "democratic."

But not only is is ungrammatical. It's petty. It contributes only to the sense of "the permanent campaign" that Karl Rove (among others) championed, and in its admittedly small way adds to the sense of "politics as usual" that everyone with even half a brain hates.

Besides, it debases the language--so much for English first and other such traditional values. And it gives me additional support for my contention that were Lincoln alive today, he'd not be a member of the Republican Party.

More Things That Make You Go "Hmm . . ."

Yesterday was the first anniversary of Barry Bonds' either tying or breaking Hank Aaron's career home runs record. No one on this year's San Francisco team has hit a many as 10 homers. So much for them being the "Giants." Which leads me to wonder whether the team should have received an automatic exemption from the steroids ban just to be able to better embody the team's nickname. Maybe Barry Bonds should use that argument as part of his defense. "I had no choice. I had to be a Giant, in every possible way."

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I still can't figure out why the Dubya administration felt the need to trump up a bunch of secret evidence against Osama bin Laden's driver to use (in secret) at the driver's trial at Gitmo. [That's "Guantanamo Bay" to you normal, not-infected-by-being-connected-to-the-military, people.--Ed.] There was no need to subject the driver to torture via rendition or anything else. We have a picture of the driver standing next to Obama--and the driver is holding an assault rifle. Assuming the picture wasn't PhotoShopped, I have to agree with the prosecution's argument that no one who wasn't highly trusted would be allowed to get that close to bin Laden with weapons in his hands. So what's up with all that other crap that Dubya's minions pulled?

Maybe they LIKE torturing people.

Creepy.

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So the Green Bay Packers apparently blinked. Brett Favre has been reinstated by the NFL Commissioner, and he's in Green Bay, and as I write this, the promised press conference hasn't yet been held so that we'll all find out what the Packers organization is doing next. Like we don't have anything else to do except wait to find that out.

The NFL is already playing pre-season games. And college football fall camps have opened. It's 90+ fricking degrees outside! C'mon! The baseball pennant races are just now starting in earnest. It's much too early for football. Excuse me while I go take a nap inside my freezer.

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Does anybody know the name of the singer who's featured in the current Reebok NFL-related T-shirt commercial? I've tried finding out, using "Traveling North" as the name of the title of the song she's singing, but that hasn't worked, so now I'm asking for help. And I'm going to feel really stupid for not recognizing her myself once I learn the answer, aren't I? Oh, well. So what else is new?

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I'm with Lisa Marie Presley. Those "Viva Viagra" commercials make me puke. Her, because she thinks they disrespect her dad. Me, because no one connected to the ads apparently gets the irony of the singer calling himself an "ol' goat." And health plans that jumped all over covering Viagra still won't cover female birth control. Feel free to roll your eyes in disgust. I know I am.

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John McCain has obviously planned his campaign around PT Barnum's admonition that no one ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American public. He said he wasn't going to run a negative campaign, but so far, all his ads attack Barack Obama--and not even with facts, but with lies and distortions and innuendos. He said he had no intention of playing the "race card," but so far, his most-frequently run ad juxtaposes pictures of Obama with Brittney Spears, Paris Hilton, the Leaning Tower of Pisa, the Washington Monument, the Eiffel Tower, and crowds of Europeans applauding for Obama. He said he was going to stick to the issues in his campaign, but so far, his tactics are to claim that Obama is either too popular or to thin to be president.

This is perfectly in line with McCain's contempt for us, the voters. He lies about his voting record on a regular basis and expects us NOT to censure him for it. Anyone who does call him on his lies is branded an evil "liberal" member of the press, denied access to McCain's so-called Straight Talk Express, and demonized as just another cog in the machine conspiring to keep McCain from getting favorable media coverage.

Where'd I put my spare barf bags? I'm gonna need more than one or two at this rate!

I Read The News Today, Oh Boy

A Little Sports, A Little Politics, A Little Of This And That

As for Fresno State winning the College World Series goes, never bet against Cinderella. Go Bulldogs!

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Talk about going from the sublime to the ridiculous: after ESPN aired Fresno State's wonderful win Tuesday, it showed an NBA Draft Preview. The commentators were blatant in their disregard of what was best for the players themselves while discussing the NBA rule requiring players to be a full year out of high school before becoming NBA draft-eligible. It gives the NBA an extra year to evaluate the playere' abilities, and the NBA doesn't have to pay those players while waiting that extra year. It's also better because with the rare exception of players like LeBron James, these players don't leave high school "NBA ready."

The commentators didn't say it would be better for the players to get a year of college education for its own sake, just in case they sometime get so injured that they can no longer make a career in the NBA; they didn't say it would be better for the players to have an additional year to get beyond being teenagers and learn how to live and behave in the world as adults; they didn't say that it would be better for their still-growing bodies just to get another year in before having to collide repeatedly and often with full-grown NBA players. I will concede that the "they're not yet NBA ready" comment implies these things--but the vast majority of the discussion focused on how much better the rule was for the NBA and its finances. The interests of the players themselves were secondary, a mere throw-away.

Is it just me, or is the naked gall of "Capitalism" getting ever more brazen? Don't we as a society WANT to value character and attitude and behavior ahead of money?

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Lately, most of the political discussion of energy policy has focused on the need to end our "dependence on foreign oil." What's wrong with this picture? How 'bout if we work to end our dependence on OIL, period? It's a finite resource. It's going to run out. Even if we drill everywhere and ruin ANWR among other places, even if drilling technology continues to improve, the OIL itself is going to run out. Based on the then-existing technology, we originally thought we were going to run out by the end of the 1970s. But our will to invest in alternate energy sources faded almost instantly once the 70s OPEC embargo ended.

So here we have another example of America's collective historical short-sightedness. And the chutzpah of John McCain to admit that most of his energy policy proposals are themselves gimmicks! Puh-leeze! Then again, as P.T. Barnum said, "no one ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American public." One of my cousins has maternal relatives who, in line with their fundamentalist beliefs, sincerely believe that since the Earth is only 6,000 years old, there's no such thing as fossil fuels, and that the oil is provided by God and will never run out . . . QED.

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Why have the pictures about Big Brown's loose shoe on his right rear hoof just now come to light? More importantly, if the loose shoe explains his poor performance at the Belmont Stakes, why didn't the trainer and the medical staff and the owners notice it when they examined the horse after the race? No one on any of the sports reports about it that I've seen, heard, or read has even asked the latter question, let alone tried to answer it. Nor has anyone ever addressed the issue of the abnormally high air temperatures as they may directly have hurt Big Brown's bid to win the Triple Crown.

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I am no fan of Adam "Pacman" Jones, but Don Imus's remarks Monday and Tuesday were inexcusable and unbelievable. On Monday, after Imus's sports reporter recounted the litany of Jones's problems with the law, all Imus wanted to know was "What color is he?" When told Jones was African-American, Imus said, "Well, there you go. Now we know."

On Tuesday, Imus said he was but making a sarcastic point about how the law unfairly picks on black people. I might be willing to cut Imus some slack--a neutral reading of his words, without hearing the tone and tenor and context of his Monday conversation, can be stretched to cover Imus's claims as to what he meant by what he said. Two reasons make it totally impossible to let Imus off the hook, however: (1) he's already screwed up badly (remember the Rutgers women's basketball team remarks?); (2) on Monday, just before he put his foot in it, Imus was talking about how people who go to nightclubs where there are drugs and booze and women and guns should not be surprised when bad things happen and the law shows up to arrest people. Thus the context of his remarks Monday becomes "how stupid ARE these people?"

As he said on Tuesday, Imus admitted he's have to be an idiot to say what people [myself included--Ed.] are claiming he said. Right. He's an idiot. His racism is so ingrained that he can't even see it, even after all the trouble he's already made for himself in the past. As Tom Johnson said on NFL Live, "I heard what you said and I heard the way you said it."

Too bad Imus's employer, WABC-NY, doesn't get it, either. No disciplinary actions are planned against Imus's most recent racially-insensitive outrage. How sad that no one seems to care enough to get really worked up about it, either.

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A high school senior in Rancho Santa Margarita, California, hacked into the school's computer system and changed his grades from Ds and Fs to As and Bs. He apparently did the same for a few friends. He also stole exams and answers. He was caught, and the family and his lawyer are up in arms about how "his life should not be ruined because of this." Though his hacking gave him the same consideration from college recruiters as students who actually earned their grades--effectively degrading the efforts of those who earned theirs--even those classmates think the charges are "a little harsh." Multiple incidents of theft, fraud, breaking and entering, and the charges are "a little harsh"?

I think I'm going to puke. When did such blatant cheating become "no big deal"? This is no Ferris Bueller prank. This is repeated serious criminal behavior. Yet the student responsible should not have his life ruined? Not to make him face the consequences of his actions is to reward his criminal behavior. If we do that,will it be any wonder when our entire country goes down the toilet? This is beyond sad. This is tragic.

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How do the people who claim that speculators (by using the so-called "Enron loophole") are NOT driving the price of gas through the roof explain away that this is exactly what happened to the electric energy markets in California when people there were getting hit with $600/month electric bills just before Enron collapsed? Record windfall profits, record high prices, consumers getting squeezed dry, the energy producers trading energy futures instead of producing energy, and the only thing these same consumers want is to open ANWR to drilling?

What astonishes me the most about this is that even a cursory study of American history reveals innumerable episodes of deregulation producing excessively greedy profit-taking, greatly hurting ordinary people, eventually prompting re-regulation, and when markets settle down a bit, the push for deregulation starts all over again. The affected industry may change, but the pattern is a constant cycle in American history.

I say again: greed is not a positive fundamental social value on which to base a civilized society. It pits people against each other instead of allowing us to find ways to work together for the ultimate benefit of all of us. Ah, well. Wiser heads than mine have already realized that not to know one's history is to be doomed to repeat it.

So I'm Not Mr. Kotter

Welcome me back anyway!

I wound up in the hospital last summer, shortly after my last posting . . . and my recovery has taken much longer than I ever expected. Then again, I'm already living on borrowed time. When my lung disease was first diagnosed, I was told I'd be dead in 10 years . . . and that would have been July, 1988.

At least, I think I'm still alive. My ex-husband sent me a rather snarky email in February (after 15 months of utter silence, including NOT paying the total correct support amount he was ordered to pay under the court's order in our divorce) noting that I've been at death's door so long people are starting to confuse me with the decorative statuary.

I tried to be civil and reminded him that he had no one to blame but himself, as the crummy way he'd treated me got my Irish up, and thus I was prepared to outlive him if I had to do it on will power and one nerve.

I wish I'd said the first thing that popped into my head, to wit: "After 15 months, that's the best you can come up with? You'd better have an EKG and an EEG, for if your heart and the rest of your brain have atrophied the way your wit has, you're the one who's dead and who doesn't know it."

This is why I'd never be a great trial lawyer. I have the instinct for the killer comment, but I have too much self-editing going on in my head to use said instinct to its best advantage. Oh, well. I should not be unhappy that I am not a shark, now, should I?

Anyway, a lot of other things have happened in the last 10 months. I have many opinions to share, but I'm not going to try to catch up all at once. I just don't have the stamina. But I will make one or two pertinent observations for now, and return (I hope on a more regular basis) with more in-depth comments every day or two.

Pertinent observation the first: I don't care what anyone claims--the fundamental, underlying motivation of anyone touting a real free market economy is greed. Look what happens every time we de-regulate financial institutions. Their only obligation is to maximize the return for their investors (i.e., make as much money as possible for them, which is as good a definition of greed as I've ever seen). So they take more and more risks as regulations get looser and more non-existent . . . and the end result is the current sub-prime lending crisis.

When are we ever really going to learn the lesson of 1929? Regulate or crash. Maybe we never will learn, as those who have the most money can afford to ride out crashes (indeed, they make money off of other people's misery, as they can scoop up property cheaply when others have no choice but to sell), and the rest of us are so desperate to taste even a sliver of the American Dream pie that we buy into things we shouldn't because we really can't afford them.

That's sad. If we regulate and keep regulating, maybe individual profits are not as big as those seeking them want, but everyone gets to participate in relative safety.

Observation the second: Every time I hear more war news out of the Middle East, I am reaffirmed in my hypothesis that ending the Cold War was not necessarily a good idea. (A) While the Cold War was on, especially after the Cuban Missile Crisis, the so-called superpowers kept an uneasy truce which kept our risk of being annihilated relatively low. The USSR, like it or hate it, kept the lid on all the extremist crap coming out of its allied countries in the Middle East, at its own expense, both in terms of money and manpower. (C) Now that the Cold War is over, Russia is reverting to its traditional suspicion and paranoia regarding the West, so we have the beginnings of another Cold War in fact if not in name.

Why, then, did we spend all the money we spent to take down the USSR? After all is said and done, the only thing we accomplished was to ramp up our own debt. Not only is the tension with Russia re-elevated, now we're the ones trying to keep the lid on the terrorists and extremists--at the expense of our own economy and --more importantly--our own young military men and women. This is foolishness. Utter foolishness.

More soon!

More From The "Things That Make You Go 'Hmmm'" Files

I just heard about a cemetery that had to raise the rates it charges for burial plots "due to the cost of living."

Hmmm . . .


Conspiracy theorists typically believe no one connected to their pet conspiracy except for the putative "lone gunman" . . . the one person who has the greatest motive to lie. What's wrong with this picture?

Hmmm . . .

Those who insist that women should be covered from head to toe when they are in public are saying a lot more about their own inability and unwillingness to grow up and have some self-control than they are about the temptations of the world.

Hmmm . . .

Bill Clinton's remarks on Molly Ivins' death were gracious and true. He said she was witty and pointed when he wasn't doing anything wrong--and more so, to devastating effect, when he was.

Dubya's remarks, on the other hand, had to have been written by someone else. Totally polite, and entirely non-committal. Seeing how long she's been calling him "Shrub" (correctly so, I might add), what else could he do without making himself look even worse than he does already?

Hmmm . . .


I watched the first couple of hours of the PBS series about the US Supreme Court last night. It was OK as an introductory historical primer, I suppose, but it could have been a lot better. It was eye-opening in terms of revealing the personal background of Justice John Marshall Harlan, but instead of including his dissent in Plessy v. Ferguson ("the Constitution is color-blind"), the show focused on his dissent in the series of decisions grouped together as The Civil Rights Cases. Maybe the producers and the writers thought the latter dissent was more important because it came earlier in time, but amongst the legal community, Plessy is more important because it crystallized Harlan's thinking in succinctly quotable prose.

Nonetheless, the thing that struck me the most about the Harlan segment was just how much John Marshall Harlan looked like the late, great Peter Boyle playing the monster in Young Frankenstein.

Hmmm . . .

I just love the soaps. They have no compunction at all about misstating legal and medical procedures, collapsing time in impossible ways, or otherwise messing up reality when it suits their dramatic purposes. Even when doing it without misstating everything would be plenty dramatic.

Ferinstance, during court proceedings, testimony routinely consists of emotional assertions of someone's beliefs about another character, with no factual content at all to support the assertions . . . yet no attorney objects nor does the judge quash said remarks as irrelevant. But judges on soaps routinely issue orders and edicts that are totally unsupported by whatever has transpired in court during the trial as aired on the soap.

Feranotherinstance, some character who is a medical professional has good reason to take the HIV test. The results come back inconclusive. Does that character start on the triple cocktail? No. Despite the fact that the triple cocktail is routinely prescribed as a prophylactic measure to medical professionals in real life in such circumstances while another HIV test is run.

Feryetanotherinstance, one year, a toddler and an infant are kidnapped together. The next year, the toddler is out of the script and the infant is in grade school. The year after that, the toddler comes back as a 16-year-old, the putative infant is still in grade school, and the parents haven't aged a bit.

Hmmm . . .

There is a common thread to all these observations. They all make my brain hurt!

Sometimes You Win, Sometimes You Lose, And Sometimes, It Rains

Those of you who know me know that I am not a hot weather person. While all the sun-worshippers are out cultivating their personal melanoma patches, and while all the BBQ fans are grilling their hearts out, increasing fire danger and adding to global warming, I am in semi-hibernation, curled up as close to the coldest air conditioner vent in the house as I can get. Nevertheless, I come out of my summer doldrums when the occasion warrants. Several things have been bugging me for a week now, so the occasion must warrant.

Thanks to an unsigned unanimous opinion by the Nebraska Supreme Court last week, University of Nebraska Regent David Hergert is now an ex-Regent. [This is an ex-Regent! 'Allo, all you Monty Python fans!--Ed] He was convicted (after having been impeached by the state legislature) of committing fraud to get reelected. He did not file required campaign spending documents on time, he included misinformation in those same documents, and he lied about it all to cover it up after the election. It's only the second time in Nebraska history that an impeached public official has been convicted, and the last one was over 100 years ago, so this is pretty big news.

The Court condemned all of Hergert's actions, and chided him for his internally contradictory defense arguments (he had such a messy desk that things were always late/lost/messed up; he didn't do anything wrong because the Nebraska election laws are written in such a way that no one can be impeached for what he did to GET into office). But it based its decision on the coverup, as what Hergert did in that regard took place after Election Day. Nebraska election laws absolutely covered that situation. The Court stressed how close a thing it was that Hergert could have been found not guilty, however, in an effort to get the Unicameral to rewrite the election laws so that this unseemly scenario would not repeat. Here's hoping the Unicameral gets the message . . . and does something about it.

Of course, the folks out in western Nebraska have condemned the whole thing as naught but a plot by the big, bad, urban eastern parts of the state to pick on them . . . talk about paranoia! I don't think anyone gives a damn that Hergert was from the western part of the state. If a Regent from one of the more easterly districts had done the same things, he, too, would have been impeached and then convicted. Hergert broke the law, people. He deserves what he got (none the less because he was and is an arrogant SOB who tried to cow and bully [now that's an interesting turn of phrase.--Ed.] first the state senators and then the members of the Court into letting him off. He paid a fine to the State Board of Elections in exchange for its promise of no criminal prosecution--before anyone else noticed what was going on--so he thought he was in the clear.

Which might have been the end of it had Hergert and the election commissioners involved the state attorney general before the fact. But the AG was not consulted. And he took umbrage. AG Jon Bruning correctly perceived what Hergert did as an improper attempt to work the system, so he got the Unicameral to vote to impeach Hergert. The rest is history.

Good thing, too. Sometimes, you win.

But sometimes, you lose. The Cubs have been playing execrably this year [toss in a chorus of Tom Petty singing Freefallin'.--Ed.]--until today, that is. Right now, they are beating up on the Mets 9 to 2 in the bottom of the 7th inning. But they aren't getting out of the cellar any time soon. Like maybe for the rest of the 21st century. Worse, the entire National League is in the same boat, given the way the NLers lost the All Star game on Tuesday. The AL was losing in the bottom of the 9th with 2 out and two strikes on the batter . . . one pitch away from victory, the NL wound up giving it away to the AL. Again. This is the 10th time in the last 11 tries that the NL has lost the All Star Game. The only game the NL didn't lose was the game that ended in a tie after all the players on both teams had been used and the game had already gone many extra innings. Thank you, Commissioner Bud Selig. [I hope you can hear my sarcasm here.--Ed.]

Also losing this past fortnight was the public in general, and the defrauded former employees and shareholders of Enron in particular, what with the death by heart attack of former Enron CEO Ken Lay. No one gets to see Lay behind bars. No one gets to see even an iota of justice being served. No one will recoup the immense financial losses Lay's criminal behavior caused. Nor will anyone get the satisfaction of forcing Lay to recognize and admit that what he did was wrong. Even after his conviction, he maintained his innocence. I think he really believed it, too. And that is scary. What's even more scary is that Dubya still called Lay a "good man and a good friend," refusing to recognize the way Lay screwed over Enron's employees and the rest of us to boot. People who claim to be "born again" the way Lay did and who yet do the kinds of things Lay did give true followers of Jesus a bad name. Holy hypocrites like Lay deserve all the Hell they can suffer.

One can but hope that at least one "Lesson Of Enron" is that deregulation of public utilities is NOT a good thing. How people can study American history and not notice that it contains waves of financial scandals and swindles EVERY TIME business-related laws, rules, and regulations are relaxed, is beyond me. But then again, I have always maintained that the people running businesses and trading on the various stock exchanges these days all would have been pirates in the 18th century[and with apologies to Johnny Depp, who isn't that kind of pirate--Ed.], so maybe there's no way to stop them in any event. Sometimes, therefore, you lose.

And sometimes it rains. You can do everything right and still get a bad outcome. Here, I am thinking of this year's Kentucky Derby winner, Barbaro. Shocking enough that he shattered his right hind leg in the opening strides of the Preakness Stakes. Frighteningly hopeful that he seemed to be doing so well after getting a metal bar and 27 pins put in his leg. Devastating when his veterinary surgeon announced this week that Barbaro had developed laminitis in his other hind hoof and that his prognosis was now exceedingly poor.

Nevertheless, when it does rain, it eventually stops. Late yesterday I heard that Barbaro is still eating well, does not seem to be in pain, and is coping amazingly well with the additional cast and other medical procedures undertaken to keep him alive. His owners and his doctors are doing everything right. Their barometer is "how is the horse coping?" As long as he's coping well and seems to be in good spirits, they are going to do everything they can to keep him alive and pain-free. They won't give up until and unless he does. Good for them! Here's hoping that the rain stops, the flowers bloom, and Barbaro heals.

OK, so I'm still a child of the 60s. I still believe [clap for Tinkerbell!--Ed.] that individuals can contribute to changing the world for the better, that it's worth doing so, and that hope is alive. Not an easy belief system to maintain in the face of crushing 21st century angst, but I'm hanging on to it anyway. Where there is no hope, there is no real life. I prefer to live.